Loser
by Alana Maxwell
Summary: ( Songfic, Shounen ai, Deep angst, Deathfic, 1+2) A simple argument between lovers changes dramatically by the simple word,


Breathe in right away, nothing seems to fill this place   
I need this every time, take your lies get off my case   
  
"Why did you lie to me...you said you wouldn't go drink at the damn club...."  
"I didn't fucking drink!" Heero shouted out loudly, turned swiftly to face his lover. His eyes were bloodshot red, and his hands trembled. Duo's eyes narrowed.   
"Liar....don't tell me that you didn't when I see it evident in your eyes. You tell me you weren't then get on my damn case. I don't appreciate that..." Heero growled, and walked to him. Raising his hand, it came in contact with the American's cheek. A distinct sound was heard.  
  
Some day I will find, a love that flows through me like this   
  
Staggering back, his hand quickly touched the immediate redness. His eyes swelled with anger, staring down at the ground. Duo looked up, the moisture becoming evident. Heero stared at him, then at his hand. His eyes widened with shock as he just realized what he did. Sounds of struggled sobbing was heard, and before he knew it, he was brushed by roughly, nearly onto the queen sized bed. The door slammed shut, cries becoming more evident. Even the loud stomping of descending the stairs were quiet compared to it.   
  
This will fall away, this will fall away   
  
He didn't care if the bastard heard him cry or not. He probably didn't care. Duo thrusted the coat on, and slipped onto his shoes. He wanted to, needed to speak to him. Something was wrong, he knew it, and confirmed it when his loved one went to drink his stress away at a random bar. /To him, I am nothing but a loser...I guess I am...it doesn't matter, this 'loser' will be gone soon.../ Grabbing an umbrella, he opened the door.  
"Duo wait..."  
He stopped, and turned around, staring at Heero. "What..."  
"Where are you going..."  
"Somewhere, where this loser won't bother you..." Not another word escaped his lips, as he slammed the door. Opening the umbrella, he walked out onto the pouring blindness of the dark rain.  
  
You're getting closer, to pushing me off of life's little edge   
  
Anger, sadness, regret, all blinded his vision. He walked anywhere were there was no wall, just a clearing. Beeping of horns were heard, the freeway. He didn't care, just wanted to get away from everything.  
"Get out of the road loser!"  
"You loser, can't ya read!? Get the hell out of the freeway!"  
/Loser...loser...is that all I am to you all...fine.../ He stopped and turned to them. "I am a loser fine, but I won't get off this damn road unless I want to...!" He dropped the umbrella, and continued to walk. Hearing more honkings of cars, oblivious to the different noises, he ignored it all. The edge of the freeway was near, just a few more feet. Just a little curb. Then he heard it, an extremely large honking. Looking up, Duo stared in shock as a truck, which struggled to stop, hit him head on.   
  
Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later you know I'll be dead   
  
Heero sat down on the couch, staring at the front door. His hands clasped together, worrysome of his love. He wondered when Duo would return. /I can't believe I slapped him, for his accusation. He was right, I drank, heavily, but I wasn't coordinated. Duo...I am so sorry....don't think you're a loser to me..please.../ He looked at the clock. 11:30 PM, surely he would have been home by then, but then again, maybe not...Lowering his head, Heero buried his hands into his hair. Then he eyed it, papers from the medical office. Strange, he never noticed them, but he did know there were papers there when he walked in, drunk. He remembered Duo with a sad and frightened look on his face.  
"Duo-chan...." He lifted the papers and read through them, eyes widened through each note pointed down. /Cancerous disease, fatal, possible 4 months of life left...oh my god.../ He dropped the papers and stared at them. His mind went back to when he slapped Duo, when he felt him brush by to leave. "Duo...." Standing up, Heero grabbed his coat and went out the door.  
  
Cause I'm a loser, I'm a loser, yeah   
  
The shattering of glass was heard. The truck swerved, and sent Duo flying to the ground. Head first into the hard concrete. Duo heard the tires screeching to stop, and the crushing of bones below his waist as they went through him. Messages of pain were so great though, that they didn't bother sending them to his mind. Duo only lifted his bloo stained hand, to touch the glass with had pierced the exact cheek where only one other pair of hands had been able to touch. The warm stickyness ran down the bruised face, down to the ground, drip, drip....  
"I am such a loser..yeah...to be oblivious of a truck...Heero..proud of me now...." He coughed out to himself. "I guess now...I won't have to suffer 4 months to meet my fate..."  
  
This is getting old, I can't break these chains that I hold   
  
/Something isn't right.../ Heero dashed forward in the blinding rain. Ahead was the freeway, and sirens were seen. "I wonder what happened....it couldn't be...no..." He stopped and clenched his fists. /I am in such a strong denial chain damnit...how I wish I could break it...oh please...don't let anything happen to Duo.../ He needed to make sure that it wasn't Duo, so he ran in the direction of the sirens.  
  
My body's growing cold, there's nothin left of this mind or my soul   
  
"Hang on kid...don't give up...."  
Duo opened his only visible eye to look up at the elderly officer. He smiled a bit and shook his head. "This..loser..can't..hang..on..for long....sorry..." He shivered a bit, and coughed. "Nothing..is..left..of..me...oh..Heero.. sorry....wish I hadn't been like this...w-we could of..been..happier...." Tears filled his eyes, and he thought he saw him. "It couldn't be.... Heero..."  
  
Addiction needs a pacifier, the buzz of this poison is taking me higher   
  
"Oh god no...." Heero pushed past the officer and knelt down. Looking up, he noticed the driver and two other officers struggled to push the truck away from Duo's legs. Looking down at his love, he took the hand, which blood had dried and still some came down. "Duo-chan...don't give up..please..."  
"Oh Heero....." Duo coughed up blood this time, and stared up. Tears had mixed with blood and had dripped to the red concrete. "I am...so...sorry...for being...such a loser...." His eyelids felt heavy, and a sweet smell seemed to fill his nose. Peaceful...gentle...  
"Don't say that...Duo...you're not a loser...you are a winner to be alive...to give me feelings.." Heero's eyes watered, as he lowered to him, removing the glass in his cheek, kissing it afterwards, not caring whether or not is was bleeding. "Duo....DUO!" He heard nothing from him as he cried out his name. "Please don't die!"  
  
This will fall away, this will fall away   
You're getting closer, to pushing me off of life's little edge   
Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later you know I'll be dead   
  
Once more..he opened his eyes, Duo smiled weakly. He felt the truck pushed away, the ease of his crushed legs was felt. Lifting his hand, he touched Heeros face. "I'm sorry....if I were a winner....I would be stronger than this...." He placed his fingers on his lips, kissed them, and brought them to Heero's lips. "Just promise me Heero...." Duo struggled with talking between sobbing and gasping. The officer, who stood behind, shook his head in regret, knowing that this was too shocking on men so young. "...just promise me you won't be a loser like me.....live a long life....I will always love you...." Duo's eyes closed, and his hand fell from Heero's face. One last breath, and he became still.  
  
You're getting closer, you're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall   
Cause I'm a loser you're getting closer, to pushing me off of life's little edge   
  
The officer knelt down, and took his pulse. Looking at Heero after a moment, he shook his head. "I'm so sorry...."  
"Duo-chan...no....NOOOO!!!!!" Heero took Duo's body and held him closely. He sobbed deeply into the cold chest of his loved one. "If only I had listened to you.....you would have lived longer....I am so sorry...." After awhile, he decided to let go, and stood up. He looked at his coat, stained deeply with blood. The officer covered Duo's body with a white sheet. Tears threatened to fall again as he watched.  
  
Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later you know I'll be dead   
You're getting closer, you're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall   
Cause I'm a loser   
  
Heero turned to leave, then stopped to look at the white sheet. He smiled softly and shook his head. "You never were a loser Duo...you were always a winner. I will learn from that, and be a winner too. I love you now, and forever Duo...goodbye..."  
  
-owari-  
  



End file.
